Histories of Other Bands Associated With BDF

 It all began when SPIN magazine announced they were having a "Worst Band In America" contest. Steve owned a guitar, but hardly knew how to play it. But this was the sort of zany contest that would be fun to enter, maybe even write a couple of ridiculous songs to submit to the contest. So one night, while drinking beers, he proposed the idea to his friends. "We don't need to be a real band, just write some funny shit, come up with some ridiculous lyrics, and send in a god awful tape with hideous music on it. We can win this worst band contest easily!" Everybody agreed that it might be fun to start a band, even if it was just for a goof. Now all they needed was a name. "Well, let's see... we like to drink beer!" "Ok, that's a good start! We'll definitely have the word 'beer' in the name somewhere!" "Hrmm, well, what do we do with the beer?" "We drink it!" "Brilliant!" "How about 'The Beer Drinkers' or 'TBD' for short?" "Doesn't 'TBD' mean 'To Be Decided' or some shit?" "How the fuck should I know?" "Hrmmm.." "Ok, ok, screw that one.. how about...'BDF'..." "Sounds good! But what the hell does the 'F' stand for?" "Fools!" "Beer Drinking Fools! BDF! Fuck yeah!" They all agreed. And BDF was born.

Now, they had a name, but only one instrument between the entire band was not a good start. They'd need an identity. If they were gonna win this contest, they needed some personality to impress the judges with. Steve came up with a makeshift survey type form, and each of the band members were asked to fill it out. Under the influence of alcohol, the band complied. They got the profile of the band down on paper, and that was something! Now, who would play what instruments? Well, let's see... Steve had a guitar, so that was an easy one. Who else is here at the moment? Well, it's Kolman's apartment, so let him choose next. Drums? Ok, sure, Kolman can play drums. Why the fuck not? It's not like we actually have drums, so it's not like he actually has to know how to play them. Next? What do you call those four-string guitars? Bass was it? Yeah, that's it. Ok, sure, Dar can play one of those. It's only got 4 strings, it's got to be easier than guitar. And I guess we need a singer. You know, to sing the lyrics to the songs that haven't even been written at all yet. Well, Rich is passed out on the couch, so he doesn't get an instrument. Fuck it, he can sing. It'll be more like screaming than singing anyways, so we're sure he can do that.

And with that, BDF was born into the world, kicking and screaming and crying for a beer. They had no musical ability, they had one used guitar (the infamous "Cat"), and they had no songs. But they had a name, and they had an identity. And they had some ideas. But, most importantly, they had beer. A lot of beer. And when you have a lot of beer, all you need is a little creativity to make things interesting. And things would get a lot more interesting...

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