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Things That Suck
We take a deeper look at things that suck, and why!
| Why Work Sucks |
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Why Work Sucks Work. What is work? Let's look at a formal definition, shall we? Ok, websters.com gives me 12 different definitions, so I'll just pick the one I like best: work - (w�rk) noun. A trade, profession, or other means of livelihood. Means of livelihood. While I have the ol' dictionary open, let's look up that word too, shall we? live�li�hood (live-lee-hood) noun. Means of support; subsistence. And one more, just to break it down into the simplest words possible for those who didn't do so well on the Verbal part of your SAT... sub�sis�tence - (sub-sis-tens) noun. A means of subsisting, especially means barely sufficient to maintain life So, if you follow the link between the definitions, what it breaks down to is that we work to maintain life. We work to survive. We work to put food on the table. We work to put a roof over our head. We work to survive. We do not work because we want to. We work because we don't have a choice. This is an in-depth analytical look at why work sucks. For those of you who are lucky enough to still be in school (whether it be college, high school, or grammar school), I offer one piece of advice - enjoy it while you can! And let me get the cliches out of the way right now; These are the best years of your life. You're only young once. A rolling stone gathers no moss. Once you graduate high school or college and join the full-time work force, you'll find yourself quickly drifting into the downward spiral of 5-day work weeks that seem to last forever, weekends that seem to fly by, and paychecks that seem to be cut in half by taxes. So let this article not serve as a horror story of what lies ahead for you, but let it provide inspiration to live life to its fullest now while you still can. Why, exactly, does work suck? Let's ask a few working people that question, and see what they have to say: "Because it takes up most of your time, pays less than you want and never allows you to live life on your terms." "Work sucks because its a form of indentured service." "Because when you're kissing ass...you never know who might fart" "Work sucks because you work to make someone else money." "Work sux because it�s generally against company policy to brutally pound the living crap out of the people who really deserve it. I mean, haven�t we become a little too civilized?" Humans have been in existence, what, a few thousand years now? Throughout those years, the way we live has evolved in every way. New inventions, technological breakthroughs, incredible new means of travel, global communications systems, medical miracles - the evolution of mankind has made steady progress over the centuries. Yet, after thousands of years of progress, the best they can come up with work is.... this? We have to work until we're 65 before we can retire? Sixty-frickin-five? By that time, we've already got one foot in the grave. We've missed out on watching our children grown up, and may have missed most of seeing our grandchildren grow up as well. For a college graduate, that's 43 years of work. For high school graduates, that's 47 years. And unless you live to be 86 or older, that's over half your entire life you'll be working. And just about your entire "adult" life. Depressing, isn't it? With the billions of dollars spent each year throughout the world on medical and technological research, couldn't somebody spend some time and money finding an alternative way to live that doesn't involve working your whole life away? Hasn't anybody thought of this? Is this asking too much? And I don't mean "get rich quick" schemes or getting lucky on the stock market, I mean a whole new way for people to live their lives so that they can be done working a lot sooner in life. If we can send people to the frickin moon, can't we find a way to shave a few years off the amount of time we have to waste away working for the Man? But wait, it gets worse. Not only do you have to work for the vast majority of your adult life, you will most likely hate your job. Yes, there are some people who like their jobs. These people are the minority. And they are either a) insane, or b) doing something fun like being a professional athlete, rock star, supermodel, actor, or Guinness Taste Tester. (Side note: If there are any Guinness executives out there looking to hire additional taste testers, please let me know where to send my resume.) So not only do you have to work, but you're going to hate doing it. And what makes you hate it? Well, there's lots of things. Maybe your boss is an ex-military veteran who scolds you for being 5 minutes late or because your shoes are not shiny enough. Maybe your project manager is a moron and asks you the same question one hundred times, and still does not understand what is going on. Maybe your company has some ridiculous dress code policy that forces you to wear uncomfortable suits and ties all day, even in 100 degree weather when the air conditioning is broken. Maybe you're expected to work late nights and on weekends without any sort of compensation for your lost time. I could write a novel on just all the possible reasons why you might hate your job. But the bottom line is this: you WILL hate your job. Some days more than others. And there's very little you can do about it, besides quit. And quitting will just lead you to another job you hate. In fact, you might hate that new job even more than your current one, so is it worth the risk to quit? But finding a new job is a whole different article.... And then there are your two worst enemies: your company, and the government. Both don't give a shit about you, both will screw you out of as much money as they possibly can, and both will let you go without shedding a tear. To your company, you're nothing but a number. You don't make money for yourself, you make money for them. And you're often very easily replaced by somebody who they can pay less money, and therefore make more money from. Yes, your immediate manager might be nice, and seem to care about you, and be sympathetic when you're a few minutes late because you had a flat tire. It's the higher up executives who are the real scumbags who don't give a crap about you. And how did they get there? Are they really well-qualified? Are they smarter than everybody else? Nope. They got there because they stuck around longer than everybody else. When people get fed up and quit because work sucks, the people who have been around longest move up the ladder. And, typically the people who stick around are sticking around because they don't hate their job as much as everybody else, probably because they're being lazy and not working very hard, so they can get by with slacking most of the time. And the government.... well, one word: taxes. Say you get a cushy job making 50,000 a year. Yay! 50,000 a year! Not bad! You can get your own place, buy a decent amount of beer, afford to buy the latest CDs, and still have some cash left over to save! Right? Wrong! Oops, the government needs to take some of that, sorry sucker! By the time the city, state, and federal governments are done, you'll be lucky to see 35,000 of that 50,000. Suddenly, you find yourself needing a roommate, ripping MP3s off the internet, and only drinking a single case of Schlitz each week. Hey, you earned that damn money, how about letting you spend some of it yourself rather than the government taking it and spending it on the nice houses and fancy cars for the politicians? No such luck. This discussion could go on for pages and pages, but I'll save the further in-depth analysis of work sucking for the full-sized book, entitled "Work Sucks, So I Quit And Am Writing This Book Instead, And Please Buy It So I Don't Have To Go Back To Work. Please?" Until then, remember this: If you haven't entered the work force yet, enjoy life now while you still can. If you are undecided about a career path, consider something you think you might enjoy, and try it out first before committing your whole damn life to doing it every damn day. And the world needs more research scientists, especially those dedicated to finding a cure for work sucking so much. If you have already entered the work force by now, well, it may be too late... You can always aspire to find a job you really do enjoy though. Just please don't apply for the position as Guinness Taster, I want that one. - Steve St. Ides |
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