Beer Drinking Fools

BDF Reviews!

Opinions on Bars, Beers, Bands, Movies, and More!

Different Things We've Reviewed

The Rating System

The BDF research scientists have come up with a unique yet somewhat complex system for ratings things. This system involves rating items in terms of beers, comparing the quality of the item to the quality of specific beers. For those of you who might not be all that familiar with the beers used in this scale, here is the breakdown in terms of a traditional 1-10 rating system, with 10 being the highest and 1 being the lowest:

10 - Guinness

9 - Bass

8 - Brooklyn

7 - Sam Adams

6 - Becks

5 - Heineken

4 - Rolling Rock

3 - Bud

2 - Coors Light

1 - Busch Light

Bars

MANITOBAS
99 Avenue B

Overall Rating: Guinness by B.A.R.S. (Beerdrinkingfools.org Alcoholic Rating Scale)

This bar is owned by the world famous rockstar and pro wrestler Handsome Dick Manitoba. It's located near Thompkins Square Park. Go there at happy hour and you can get TWO pints of Rheingold for $3.50! Be sure to look at all the awesome photographs on the wall, the place is a veritable 70's Punk Rock museum. The bartenders there are cool and they'll generally let you watch whatever you want on TV and play your CD's on the stereo.

(Review by Richie Rheingold)

Copper McFeeley's
30th Road b/w 12th St. and Vernon Ave, Astoria

Overall: Guinness

Conveniently located in Ballantine's living room this watering hole (emphasis on "hole") has a steady supply of Yeungling and whatever hard liquor Dan Diego (co-owner) didn't kick the night before. Known for it's feats of drinking strength, Copper McFeeley's boasts tournaments of Drinking Jenga, Tekken Tag Tournament, Beer Pong, and Asshole. Quite a few people also get booty at the bar, much to the chagrin of the owners who usually end up alone and in a puddle of their own piss and vomit. Great outdoor seating in the spring and summer!

(Review by Brian Ballantine)

Trailer Park
23rd St b/w 7th and 8th Ave

Price: Rolling Rock
Overall: Bass

The name says it all. If you doubt me, check out the actual trailer in the bar. If you mock me, I will drink from you skull. Anyway, they have some great old-timey signs with your favorite BDF surnames on them, plus a decent food menu. Watch out: they'll charge you for adding anything onto your meal, like cheese, chili, or strawberry sauce. The cans of beer are overpriced but it's one of the few places that has Rheingold in a can. (Richie Rheingold says, "Help! Let me out of this can!") Anyway, the hostess, Candice, will sign an 8 x 10 of her hot self for you, and she also thinks that ".. the Beer Drinking Fools are the best band EVER!" And I have that in writing, signed.

5 out of 5 pints for atmosphere but 2 out of 5 pints for beer prices

(Review by Brian Ballantine)

Hard Rock Cafe
W 57th St, NY

Overall: Sam Adams

The recent departure of boy bands from its rotation almost makes the recent departure of draft Yeungling from its bar acceptable. The chicken club is good stuff, and even though it's considered a "tourist spot" the HRC has some really punk shit. By the bar is plenty of Sex Pistols shit (an acceptable boy band) and upstairs behind the big Quaalude and near the shitter is a picture of Jello Biafra. Also several members of the wait staff wear BDF pins and there is a BDF sticker on the bar bridge. Just be sure to act really surprised and put off that there is no happy hour because the greedy owners stopped rewarding their repeat business with drink incentives. Inconsiderate bastards. I give 'em a Sam Adams for the effort.

(Review by Brian Ballantine)

The Abbey Tavern
Corner of 3rd Ave and East 26th Street, NY

Booze Quality: Guinness
Food: Bass
Service: Bass
Price: Rolling Rock
Atmosphere: Becks
Overall: Bass

The Abbey Tavern is where BDF gathers every week before practice to load up on booze and greasy beer food. A nice, relatively quiet Irish pub, it's the perfect place to relax after a day of work. The Guinness at this place is probably among the best you'll ever have, and the food is pretty damn good too. (If you're a big fan of burgers, they're awesome!) The service is excellent, and by now they all know BDF as the weekly regulars who play loud music and drink incredible amounts of Guinness in the short amount of time they're there. The BDF song "Dear, Dear Abbey" was written about this place. Oh, and several verses from "This One's On The House" were also inspired by all the buybacks we've received there.

(Review by Steve St. Ides)

John Street Bar and Grill
John Street, Downtown NY

Booze Quality: Becks
Food: Becks
Service: Heineken
Price: Bass
Atmosphere: Sam Adams
Overall: Becks

All I gotta say is this - 10 dollars, all you can drink Thursdays from 6pm-8pm. Anything on tap, including Bass, Red Hook, Anchor Steam, Killian's, and more! And the food is decent to, and cheap! It's like 3 bucks for a hamburger. The atmosphere is interesting, kinda has a biker bar feel with jukebox, video games, pool table, and stuffed animal heads hanging from the walls, but it's full of stock broker yuppies since it's so close to Wall Street.

(Review by Steve St. Ides)

Yogi's
W 76th & B'way, NY

Overall: Guinness

There is Hank Williams and Johnny Cash on the jukebox. Pabst Blue Ribbon for $1.50 a can, served in the can. The lady bartenders have nice assets, and the male bartenders don't exist. With all that, darts, and always a crazy drunk to be amused by, Yogi's gets an enthusiastic Guinness (which is $7 a pitcher there, by the way).

(Review by Brian Ballantine)

119 Bar
15th b/w Irving Plaza and Park Ave South, NY

Overall: Bass

If the cute bartender isn't enough then how's about $4 pints of Brooklyn, Yeungling, Guinness, and something else. The hotspot before Irving Plaza shows this place fills with the punk and punk-minded. Plus plenty of suited wanderers who are worth a laugh. And if the pool table doesn't give you all the balls they will hook you up. I'll give 'em a Bass and keep the change.

(Review by Brian Ballantine)

Desmond's Tavern
433 Park Ave. S.
(between 29th & 30th St.)

Overall rating: Bass

Good food at non-Manhattan prices, i.e. $5.00 for a burger w/ fries instead of 13. God I hate those places where they leave out the dollar sign and the decimal point as if it doesn�t matter how much a hamburger costs!! Getting back to the subject, the french fries were OUTSTANDING. They were thick cut, crispy on the outside, hot and soft on the inside. Lots of good beers served cold: Guinness, Bass, Brooklyn, etc. No Yuengling, though. There�s a stage there where they have live bands sometimes. Pretty good sound for a place with such low ceilings. All in all a well-rounded regular bar. Not a rathole and not a sheeshy disco Yuppie-hive. Coveniently located near the 28th Street station of the 6 train.

(Review by Richie Rheingold)

Beers

Scrumpy Cider

If you are ever lucky enough to visit Ireland, Guinness is by far the best and cheapest thing to drink in a pub. However, for your hotel room, hostel, or backpack you might want to pick up a bottle of Scrumpy Cider at the liquor store. It costs like 6 Euros and it comes in a 2 liter plastic bottle with a hornet on it. It has a very unrefined, but still somewhat sweet taste, kinda like wine. It�s good to drink it ice-cold out of a clear glass, but if you�re not on the luxury jet-setters� tour it�s also pretty good warm and straight from the bottle.

(Review by Richie Rheingold)

Milwaukee�s Finest Pilsner (in a can)

Worst beer EVER.

(Review by Richie Rheingold)

Bands

WHITE TRASH BRONKS

The WHITE TRASH BRONKS played their first gig at Desmond's April 11th. This is a band to check out! Some real high energy stuff. They played a bunch of originals and even covered a song by the Cars (the Cars? Ha!). They will be playing more shows in the near future, so keep an eye out for more from them! Put on your stompin boots, drink a beer, and give a big Bronx cheer for real kickass punk rock!

(Review by Richie Rheingold)

The Business - May 22, 2004. The Knitting Factory

Horrorpops

I missed most of their set because the MTA was on a slowdown (or maybe asleep, high, trippin, just unaware they were still employed). I heard one song, it was a song. They wore fancy clothes.

Roger Miret and the Disasters

The volume on the vocals was too low. That really impacted the performance badly. I was, however, happy to hear them play �Crucified�. Great song.

Nek-romantix

I could have lived without seeing these guys. They had a stand-up bass that was customized to look like a coffin. They went to a great effort for a gimmick and ruined the sound of the instrument. They also had goofball Bobby Brown looking slopey hairstyles. The music was not real inspiring and a few of us agreed the band was merely an obstacle to us seeing the Business.

The Business

They rocked even harder than they did when I saw them 10 years ago. They rocked harder than they did in the video for �Blind Justice� 20 years ago! We know of no other band (or brewery for that matter) that has stuck to their guns as hard as the Business!! Hell, in 2014 I look forward to seeing the Business with my grandkids. We may be drinking Guinness Light or alcohol-free Korean Vodka, but the Business will still be HARDCORE HOOLIGANS. Smash the Discos really got the crowd moving. People were stage-diving and one dude even grabbed the mic to sing the lead vocals until the bouncers chased him away. Excellent.

(Review by Richie Rheingold)

Restaurants

Wendy's

Rating: Bass (in a paper cup, though)

Wendys gets the Bass rating because they are the bright and shining star of the fast food industry. The dollar menu cannot be beat. Their chili is actually really good and has real ingredients (like bell peppers, beans, and beef). And that�s coming from a chile expert. The junior bacon cheeseburger is a steal! You can fill up at Wendys for like 3 dollars if you want.

Here�s what I like most about Wendys: the staff members are polite and competent! That�s a new one. Last time I was there, one of the workers actually got rid of my empty tray for me since she was going that way anyway! Dave Thomas would be proud!

(Review by Richie Rheingold)

Taco Bell

Rating: Rolling Rock

Taco Bell came into existence in the late 1970�s down in like the south and southwest. I first became a fan of Taco Bell in 1982 when I went there for a few burritos and a Dr. Pepper after seeing Raiders of the Lost Ark. They had such awesome menu items as the Beef Burrito and the Taco Light (which had a deep-fried crispy flour tortilla as a shell, anything but light on the calories).

As they started to open Taco Bells around New York, they came out with new menu items that were equally awesome, like the Pizzazz Pizza, which had a black olive on each of the four slices. That�s right, the Mexican Pizza used to have slices. Today it�s evolved into a hot/cold blob of sideways oozing cheese and beans with no olives and scarcely any green onions. In the Winter time, they used to have the Chile Warm up, which consisted of a soda, a cup of chile, and a taco. It cost like under $2.00.

In the early 90�s it was actually the hip thing to go to Taco Bell. $6.00 bought you like 10 lbs. of food! Guidos stopped in for a bite amidst their busy schedule of drag-races. Hoodies put down their blunts and their box-cutters to discuss their favorite taco Bell sauce. Hardcores bought ten-packs of tacos to go with their Crazy Horse on the way to see Yuppicide.

Taco Bell served good food that was also real cheap, and they served it till 3am. So what the fuck happened? Last time I went to Taco Bell, I spent almost $7.00 and went away hungry! I got this combo thingy that looked alright in the picture. It had a soda, a Grilled Stuft Burrito, and a nice platter of nachos. When I actually got the real thing, the nachos came in a little bag and the only topping was a tiny little shot of nacho cheese that wasn�t even enough for 1/3 of the chips. And the burrito had this white crap in it! Special sauce? Mayonnaise? Tangy zesty mystery southwest combo X-treme flavor booster? What the hell is this crap? The jit and jism of the fast food world, that�s what!

Taco Bell used to be cool. They used to be unique. Now they just suck! They�re the same as all the other crappy fast food places. And what�s with these prices? $1.49 for a bean burrito? Gimme a break! What�s in a bean burrito? Well, there�s flour � 69 cents for a 5 lb. bag, and there�s beans - $1.99 for a 5 lb. bag. What culinary magic!

Oh wait� the Enchilada Bowl. The Eeeenchilada Boowwwwwelll. What the hell kinda thing is a bowl? When was the last time you went to Mexico and somebody offered you a bowl? A bowl is not something you eat. Anyway, if you did eat one of these things, guess where you�d wind up � that�s right � on the BOWL.

(Review by Richie Rheingold)

Havana Central

Rating: Coors Light

This crappy dung-hole-of-restaurant fancies itself to be eclectic. It features dried out plantains and empanadas festering on greasy chaffing dishes. There is nothing exotic about rice & beans. The stuck-up twats serving the food get annoyed if you don�t order enough. In fact, there was one time when I only had $2.00, enough for an empanada and since I only ordered one empanada I was IGNORED! They also play this dopey game where they make you wait for food. They tell you more will be ready in a minute, even though it is plainly sitting there behind the glass like a radioactive turd specimen.

Do not eat at Havana Central. This rat-hole is for people who are not adventurous enough to go to a real Cuban restaurant where the food is fresh and there�s no pretensious attitude. Might I suggest ANY restaurant on or near Broadway between 170th and 175th streets in Manhattan (just don�t go there at night). This is New York City, if you want ethnic cuisine, buy it from ethnic people. And if you happen to be walking past Havana Central on a night when you�ve had too much to drink, puke on the window once for me.

(Review by Richie Rheingold)

Richie Rheingold has been reviewing restaurants for many years. This is the first time any of his reviews have appeared in print. Typically his reviews are spoken (usually on the street corner near the local bodega) and attract the attention of many culinary experts (and police officers). He is well qualified to review restaurants as he eats food on an almost daily basis.

Albums

No Redeeming Social Value - "Hardcore Your Lousy Ass Off"

Rating: Bass

No Redeeming plays Queens-style hardcore tunes about fast food, Olde E, and the ever-present Guido problem. All of their songs are funny as hell and go well with whatever swill is on sale at the local bodega.
I would give NRSV an Olde English, cause that�s what they like, but BDF rates them a Bass.

(Review by Richie Rheingold)

The Casualties - "The Early Years 1990-1995"

Rating: Private Stock 64oz

This is a collection of Casualties music from what I consider to be the golden age of Drunk-punk music. Comes with a full color sleeve with old 7" and flyer artwork and pictures of the band getting smashed on Ballantine's! They play loud, raucous, politically incorrect songs like '40oz. Casualty', 'Kill the Hippies', and my personal favorite 'Drinking is my way of Life'!!
Deviating slightly from the traditional BDF rating system, this one get�s the green bomber, the 64-OUNCE PRIVATE STOCK!

(Review by Richie Rheingold)

All the best Irish Drinking Songs

Rating: Guinness

Even if you're not Irish, this CD is worth having around just for St. Patrick's Day. It's got all those great songs about drinking, fighting, and fornicating. It's not clear who the artist is and the packaging is somewhat generic. It's made in Canada by this company called L.D.M.I. and you can buy it in your local supermarket. Be sure not to buy anything that looks like "real" Irish music or you'll get sappy new age stuff with flutes, synthesizers, and fake ocean sounds. Before you know it you'll be wearing sandals, going to encounter groups and God forbid... AA.
This album gets the GUINNESS STOUT rating from me, simply cause that�s all they drink in Ireland.

(Review by Richie Rheingold)

Jello Biafra & Mojo Nixon with the Toadliquors- "Prairie Home Invasion"

Rating: Pabst Blue Ribbon

Jello Biafra (of Dead Kennedys fame for all you old farts who remember Reganomics) goes country. YyyeeEEEHHHAAaaaaw!! And not that shitty lame ass arena rock feathered hairdo mulletted white tassled rhinestone studded leather synthetic bullcrap, but good old-fashioned moonshine runnin', pig-fuckin', shit kickin' country music. This album contains one of the greatest drinking songs ever. It's called 'Are you Drinkin' with Me Jesus'. Mojo Nixon has many more albums in the country rebel tradition including such hit songs as 'I ain't Gonna Piss in No Jar' and 'Debbie Gibson is Pregneant with my two-headed love child'.
Once again deviating from the rating system a bit, I give this album the ICE COLD PABST BLUE RIBBON (spiked with a little Nyquil).

(Review by Richie Rheingold)

Plan A project -"Spirit of a Soldier"

Rating: Bass

Plan A Project sounds like OPIV minus the ska influence. The raw energy of their music has gotten me out of bed and off to work on days when it didn't seem like there was a reason to go. That averages every 5 out of 7.

(Review by Richie Rheingold)

Roger Miret and the Pietasters

Rating: Bass

At Bleeker Bob�s the other night I came across Roger Miret and the Pietasters. �Roger in a Ska band?�, I thought. Then I looked more closely and saw it was ROGER MIRET AND THE DISASTERS. Cool, and only $7.99! I put it on after a night of boozin, dancing, and singing and it sounded pretty damn good! I found out the next day that it also sounds great when you�re sober! This is not just Agnostic Front music with a strategically place �Oi!� or �Wooa-oh� here and there. This just plain rocks! Anyone who likes Oxymoron, DKM, or Lars and the Bastards would also like this album. Once again Hellcat has brought us a winner. If they ever put out a bad CD I might have to buy it just as a rarity. Rock and Roll.

(Review by Richie Rheingold)

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