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BDF Fight Song
BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF
BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF
Don't walk too slow when you go outside at night
Try to blend in and stay out of the light
Better look both ways before you cross the street
The next step you take could spell out your defeat
BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF
BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF
All the stores are closing down in your neighborhood
You could use a drink but the prospects aint too good
It's a weekend night but your friends are not around
And what's around the next corner could knock you to the ground
BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF
BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF
Don't make no donuts cause cops don't like that shit
If you buy new boots you better make sure they fit
If you want something free you better find out what it costs
Everybody works for me and I am the Goddamn boss!!
BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF
BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF
^ Back To Top ^
Steady Diet Of Pub Food
I had chile for breakfast
Those mimosas went down nice
A Philly Steak for lunch
And a six of Molson Ice
When it came time for dinner
I had wings and fries and pie
Then I washed it all down
With a dozen shots of Rye
(Refrain)
Any time I�m hungry
I crawl into the local dive
If it wasn�t for pub food
I probably wouldn�t be alive
You can find me there
No matter what the time of day
If I can still see the menu
I know I�m gonna be okay
My brain is fried and battered
That�s how I like my food
The smell of oil and hot sauce
Will slightly elevate my mood
So all you �All You Can Eat� joints
Better get out of town
As long as Heinz makes Ketchup
I�m always gonna be around
(Refrain)
Any time I�m hungry
I crawl into the local dive
If it wasn�t for pub food
I probably wouldn�t be alive
You can find me there
No matter what the time of day
If I can still see the menu
I know I�m gonna be okay
^ Back To Top ^
Dear, Dear Abbey
Abbey you�re the girl for me
You give me what I love for free
Nobody gives extra head with my brew
Like you do
Dear, dear Abbey
(CHORUS)
Abbey's always waiting on the corner
Waiting there at the corner for me
She can be so cold but she makes me feel warm
My dear, dear Abbey
(/CHORUS)
I like to touch you to my mouth
The way it feels when you go south
Nobody gives such love with my brew
Like you do
Dear, dear Abbey
(CHORUS)
She knows when I'll be stopping by
To milk her taps till they're dry
Nobody gives extra head with my brew
Like you do
Dear, dear Abbey
(CHORUS)
^ Back To Top ^
Not A Love Song
This is not a song to say
That you have nice eyes
This is not a song to say
They�re as blue as the sky
This is not a song to say
How pretty you are
This is not a song you�ll hear
In a yuppie bar
(CHORUS)
This is not a love song!
This is not a love song!
This is not a love song!
This is not a love song!
(/CHORUS)
This is not a song to say
How I love your hair
This is not a song to tell you
How much I care
This is not a song about
What you mean to me
This is not a song you�ll hear
On 92.3
(CHORUS)
This is not a song about
Your tender lips
This is not a song that makes you
Want to shake your hips
This is not a song about
All that we could be
This is not a song you�ll see
On MTV
(CHORUS)
This is not a song about
The stars above
This is not a song about
Our putrid love
This is not a song that tells you
That you're the best
This is not a song that sucks
Like all the rest
(CHORUS)
^ Back To Top ^
Anthem
No thirst for knowledge
No time for school
Throw open the tap
He's a Beer Drinking Fool!!
A boozer by trade
He don't care much for work
Don't ask him why
He's a Beer Drinking Jerk!!!
He don't give a shit
About being cool
He never did
He's just a Beer Drinking Fool!!
Economy's bad
He don't give a fuck
He flunked economics
He's a Beer Drinking Schmuck!!
His bills are all paid
He saved a big wad
It's Friday Afternoon
Now he's a BEER DRINKING GODDDD!!!
^ Back To Top ^
Latrell Sprewell
[CHORUS]
Latrell, Latrell, Latrell Sprewell
He's my favorite criminal
Latrell, Latrell, Latrell Sprewell
He's my favorite criminal
[/CHORUS]
Latrell will take it to the hole
Choking PJ Carlissimo
Latrell's not bad, he's pretty good
He's just a bit misunderstood
[CHORUS]
Latrell knows just what he's doing
Now that we've got rid of Ewing
Spree steals the ball then dunks it in
Just give him the rock and the Knicks will win
[CHORUS]
Latrell is coming to your hood
He'll fuck you up, real fuckin good
He's Latrell
Latreeeelllllllllllllllllllllllll!
^ Back To Top ^
Work Sux
Sitting at a desk or walking down the hall
I don't want to be here, man, no not at all
Staring at the clock the damn thing hardly even moves
I can't wait to blow this joint and go get some booze
[Chorus]
Everyone that I know will agree
Work sux!
Why oh why is this the fate for me
Work sux!
The bar is where I would rather be
Work sux!
So meet me there for a pint or three
Work sux!
[/CHORUS]
I hoped it was 5:30 but it isn't even near
I'm about to leave this dump and go get some beer
Should I go to the bodega or head over to the bar
Or maybe just head home and drink some beer and play guitar
[Chorus]
If I didn't need the money I would certainly just quit
And tell my boss to go fuck off and go and eat some shit
But I need cash to buy beer and for the bills I have to pay
Until we become rock stars then we can quit some day
[Chorus]
^ Back To Top ^
Meet Me At The Bar
[CHORUS]
Meet me at the bar
Meet me at the bar
We're gonna get loaded
So don't bring your car
Meet me at the bar
Meet me at the bar
You better make it there
No matter where you are
[/CHORUS]
It's Friday night after another long-ass week of work
Your co-workers are morons and your boss is a jerk
Time to kick back, crack a brew, and play some punk
Then head out to the bar and get real fuckin drunk
[CHORUS]
Step up to the bar and you order up a brew
Better make it four, two for me and two for you
After seven beers I'm feeling pretty good
Do we have another? I say I think we should
[CHORUS]
Now it's getting late and I'm having trouble trying to talk
I get up from my stool and I can hardly even walk
Time to stumble home and crash hard to sleep and then
I'll meet you there tomorrow and we'll do it all again
[CHORUS]
^ Back To Top ^
Smack
(Original lyric sheet from the days of RAG)
^ Back To Top ^
Quitting Time
9 hours left!
The day's just getting started!
8 hours left!
Til we go out and get retarded!
7 hours left!
The day's hardly begun!
6 hours left!
Until we have some fun!
5 hours left!
Okay, it's time for lunch!
4 hours left!
Until we drink a bunch!
3 hours left!
The afternoon is draggin!
2 hours left!
Til we're off the wagon!
1 hour left!
The time is drawing near!
It's quitting time!
Let's go drink some beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!
^ Back To Top ^
No Yuppies
You come into the bar wearing your suit and tie
I piss on your nice shoes and hope you fucking die
You ask me what I do, I say that I drink beer
Don't look at me like that you stupid fucking queer
[CHORUS]
When I'm at the bar... NO YUPPIES!
When I'm at a show...NO YUPPIES!
I don't know who you are... NO YUPPIES!
Why won't you just go away... NO YUPPIES!
[/CHORUS]
You come into the bar wearing your corporate skirt
I see you have nice legs so I decide to flirt
I ask you how you're doing you ask me what I do
I'm not here to talk about work so piss off and fuck you
[CHORUS]
Don't ask me for the time and don't ask me for a smoke
Don't ask me to pass the beer nuts, don't try and tell a joke
Don't brush against me as you try and get past
Or I'll take that Rolling Rock and stick it up your ass!
[CHORUS]
So if you've listened this far I've got one more thing to say
You fucking yuppies just stay the fuck away
Or loosen up that tie and learn to have some fun
Have a drink or ten or twelve and drink until you're done!
[CHORUS]
^ Back To Top ^
Only The Weak Ones Die
Some people say I'm killing my brain cells
I say only the weak ones die
Besides I think they grow back anyways
I haven't forgotten my name yet, have I?
[CHORUS]
Some say the alcohol is eating away my brain
I say if it is I sure don't feel the pain
Without a cold beer I might just go insane
And it looks like my glass is dry
Fill it up, cause only the weak ones die
[/CHORUS]
Some people say I'm destroying my liver
I say to me it feels just fine
A doctor once said alcohol is good for you
So I think I'll have another bottle of wine
[CHORUS]
It's not even late yet and I'm feeling just fine
So please pour us another round of drinks
I'm gonna drink until they close the place down
I don't give a fuck what anybody thinks
[CHORUS]
Throat is kinda dry and my stomach yells for more
I pick up my pint and hold it to my lips
Tilt my head back and open up my throat
The glass is empty again in just 3 sips
[CHORUS]
^ Back To Top ^
Bitch Stole My Dog
(Originally written by Martin C. and Violent Grey)
Bitch stole my dog
Yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Bitch stole my dog
Sure gave me a scare
Bitch stole my dog
Thought it was a cow
She tried to milk it
I've got to kill her now
[CHORUS]
Woof woof, woof woof, woof woof
When you're feeling down
Woof woof, woof woof, woof woof
When you're feeling down
Woof woof, woof woof, woof woof
When you're feeling down
Woof woof, woof woof, woof woof
When you're feeling down
[/CHORUS]
Bitch stole my dog
Yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Bitch stole my dog
Sure gave me a scare
[CHORUS]
Bitch stole my dog
Thought it was a cow
She tried to milk it
I've got to kill her now
[CHORUS]
^ Back To Top ^
This One's On The House
[CHORUS]
This one's on the house!
This one's on the house!
This one's on the house!
This one's on the howwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwse!
[/CHORUS]
The bartender smiled
Said "You been here awhile,
So this one's on the house!"
He knocked on the bar
Said "You'll be a rock star,
And this one's on the house!"
[CHORUS]
The waitress she winked
Said "Have another drink,
Cause this one's on the house!"
I like these Irish lasses
Cause they refill our glasses
And sometimes on the house
[CHORUS]
He's reading the news
Here, have some free booze
Cause this one's on the house!
Family Circus ain't funny
This pint costs no money
Well, this one's on the house!
[CHORUS]
Why'd he say cheers?
Does that mean free beers?
Guess this one's on the house!
Let me buy you a shot
For the drinks that you got
Cause this one's on the house!
[CHORUS]
We should be getting to practice
But the free beers distract us
Cause this one's on the house!
So what if we're late
This bar's fucking great
And this one's on the house!
[CHORUS]
^ Back To Top ^
Buy The Record (So I Can Retire)
[CHORUS]
Buy the album
So I can retire
Do what you want with it
It makes great fuel for your fire!
Buy the album
It's full of hits
Buy 10 copies
And give them as gifts!
[/CHORUS]
I don't want to wear a suit
I don't want to wear a tie
Don't say I can't wear boots
Don't say I can't get high
[CHORUS]
I want to play all night
And drink til I pass out
But please no Coors Light
Just some Guinness Stout!
[CHORUS]
Support a worthy cause
I'm sure you'll feel it's right
We're not breaking any laws
At least none here tonight
[CHORUS]
The music that's out there
It mostly just plain sucks
So buy our album here
Come on, it's only five bucks
[CHORUS]
^ Back To Top ^
Undercooked Gyro
Went into Fernando's
Just wanted a gyro
But he got a lot more
He got shot in the ass
He was getting kinda hungry
A gyro might taste good
And then wash it down
With a can of Coca Cola
[CHORUS]
Just wanted a gyro. Just wanted a gyro
It was undercooked. It was undercooked
Just wanted a gyro. Just wanted a gyro
He got shot in the ass. He got shot in the ass
[/CHORUS]
Yeah they knew him well
He often got gyros there
Seemed like a nice guy
Until this one day
He took a bite of his gyro
And spit it back out
He said it was undercooked
It was undercooked
[CHORUS]
He started to argue
With Fernando who cooked it
"It was undercooked"
He yelled in his face
Fernando didn't like that
He said "My gyros are perfect!
Get out of my face!
Get out of my store!"
[CHORUS]
But the guy wouldn't leave
He was really pissed off
Fernando got fed up
And pulled out his gun
A .32 caliber
He cocked and he fired it
He shot the guy in the ass
It was undercooked
[CHORUS]
He went to the hospital
They bandaged his ass
At least it wasn't his head
And only his anus
What's gonna happen
To poor Fernando?
He's going to jail
And he can't cook a gyro
[CHORUS]
(and then finish up with an assorted barrage of...)
It was undercooked!
It was undercooked!
He got shot in the ass!
He got shot in the ass!
^ Back To Top ^
Blackout
I went out drinking again last night
But I don't recall leaving the bar
Somehow some way I got home alive
But I don't know where I parked my car
I really hate when I don't remember things
It seems to happen a lot
I usually remember the first 6 drinks
But nothing after the 10th shot
Blackout! Blackout! Blackout! Blackout!
Blackout! Blackout! Blackout! Blackout!
I don't remember the shots
I don't remember the fight
I don't remember the cops
I don't remember the night
I don't remember the place
I don't remember the chick
I don't remember her face
I don't remember where I stuck my..... (hehe)
I think I might have talked to some girl
But I don't remember her name
Trying to figure out whose phone number this is
Is slowly driving me insane
Somehow I woke up in my own bed
I have no clue how I got here
Seems all my memories of last night
Have been washed away with beer!
[CHORUS]
^ Back To Top ^
Drinkin' Forties On The Subway
When I need to take a trip downtown
I need some help with getting around
I got somewhere to be
Think I'll grab some OE
Crack the forty and watch out for cops
I've only got to go eleven more stops
I got somewhere to go
I'll grab one for the road
[CHORUS]
Drinkin forties on the subway
Drinkin forties on the subway
Drinkin forties, yeahhhhhh
[/CHORUS]
Keep it hidden in my brown paper bag
So I don't get a ticket, man, that would be bad
I got to take a ride
Think I'll grab some St. Ides
Now the subway pulls into my stop
I tilt my head back and down the last drop
I got something to do
Think I'll grab me some brew
[CHORUS]
Had a good time drinking PBR
Get on the train and find an emtpy car
My ears are ringing from the PunkRock
It's a good thing I got Private Stock
[CHORUS]
^ Back To Top ^
Keepin' It Real
[CHORUS]
Keepin it Real!
Keepin it Real!
Up in the field! (or other lines that rhyme, such as "I don't eat veal")
Keepin it Real!
[/CHORUS]
Just because you work at Sam Ash doesn't make you cool
You don't have what it takes to be a Beer Drinking Fool
Don't get an attitude with me I'll kick your fuckin ass
Your band will never make it and you don't have any class
Just because you have tattoos that doesn't make you hip
Don't look at me like you're the man and don't give me any lip
You don't suddenly become cool just because you get some ink
So shut the hell up and get out of my way I need to get a drink
[CHORUS]
Just because you wear tight clothes that doesn't make you hot
You ain't no Cindy Crawford and Nicole Kidman you are not
Your hair is not really that color and those tits sure do look fake
So please stop pretending you're someone else for fuck's sake!
What the hell is wrong with people they don't know who they are
They think it matters what they wear or if they have a fancy car
They compromise their music to sound like everyone else
For all I care, all of you can go straight to hell
[CHORUS]
Please stop pretending you're not fooling any one
Just be your damn self and go out and have some fun
Don't be such a damn slave you'll never ever win
You only fool yourself and that's the biggest sin
Just because you work at Sam Ash doesn't make you cool
You don't have what it takes to be a Beer Drinking Fool
Stop worrying so much about what everybody thinks
Meet me at the bar and we'll have a couple drinks
[CHORUS]
^ Back To Top ^
I Wanna Beer
When I find myself in the bar there's just one thing on my mind
It isn't (something) and it isn't work and it isn't all my bills
I start to look around the place for what I'm trying to find
A clear path to the bar so I can get a fresh refill
[CHORUS]
I step up to the bar and say "I wanna beer! I need a beer!"
I step up to the bar and say "I wanna beer! I need a beer!"
I step up to the bar and say "I wanna beer! I need a beer!"
I step up to the bar and sayyyyyyy.....
[/CHORUS]
It's starting to get late and now there's a decent crowd
Been here since happy hour so I'm feeling pretty good
Now my ears are ringing cause the music's good and loud
I know I'd do this every night if I only could
[CHORUS]
^ Back To Top ^
Fuck Bloomberg
[CHORUS]
New York is fuct
I'm shit outta luck
Can't drink my beer
Without any fear
New York is fuct
I'm shit outta luck
No beer for the needy
Just wine for the greedy
(Alt: You look like a weenie / Holding your martini)
[/CHORUS]
Hey Mikey B.
I'm supposed to be free
In bars there's no smoking?
You've got to be joking!
What's that I hear?
I can't drink my beer?
What'd you do with our rights?
If I want to drink all night
[CHORUS]
I want Dinkins back
He didn't give a crap
No tickets for me
That's the way it should be
We just drank our beer
Without any fear
No tickets for us
Park, subway, or bus
[CHORUS]
In Washington Heights
On hot Summer nights
You work up a thirst
But the bars are the worst
The bodega's for me
St. Ides or OE
The neighborhood stinks
At least I got drinks
[CHORUS]
Don't close down the park
Just because it got dark
We're just having fun
Not hurting anyone!
It's your master plan?
That's shit's dead, man
You wanna clean up the city?
I say it's real shitty!
[CHORUS]
^ Back To Top ^
Things That Annoy Me
There's lots of things that I see all the time that really annoy me
I don't like business suits, wearing ties, or bad coffee
I see all this annoying stuff everywhere and every day
People who walk down the street slow and don't get out of your way
[CHORUS]
Maybe I'm just too sensitive
Maybe I need to just chill out
Fuck that, man, you know it too
These are things we could do without
[/CHORUS]
I don't like the MTA, man, the trains are never on time
I don't like cops they seem to always be giving me a fine
I don't like waiting on line, telemarketers or Coors light
I'm annoyed by noisy neighbors who keep me up all fuckin night
[CHORUS]
I don't like Rosie O'Donnell, Martha Stewart, or Oprah
I don't like spoiled meat, moldy bread, or flat soda.
I don't really like lawyers they're always out just to make a buck
I'm annoyed when I try to open a jar and the lid is stuck
[CHORUS]
I'm really annoyed when my paycheck is hit by income tax
I hate it when some liar tries to distort all the facts
And when it rains those damn umbrellas people use that are 5 feet wide
And you bet someone would sue them if it pokes them in the eye
[CHORUS]
^ Back To Top ^
Completely Wineless
You say there's something wrong,
We like our coffee strong.
Wait till we've had enuff
Then we'll buy some stuff.
Refrain:
We can't go out there
Completely wineless!
We can't go out there
Completely wineless!
After we left your store,
My brother's mug fell on the floor,
The cold was extreme
and he had no Jim Beam
[Refrain]
We can't go out there
Completely wineless!
We can't go out there
Completely wineless!
[Refrain]
Well we went back into your store,
Then went out and drank more and more...
^ Back To Top ^
Back In The Day
Way back in the days before we'd go hit a bar
We'd grab two forties each and we wouldn't have a car
Head up to the park and hope the cops don't come
If it's cold out, bring your gloves so that your fingers don't go numb
Oh shit I saw some headlights, man, was that a fuckin cop?
Someone grab the cooler and someone make the music stop
Run up to the safe spot and be sure not to spill beer
Okay, cops are gone, they just drove by, the coast is clear
*CHORUS*
I'll never forget them
I'll never forget them
The days we hung out
Those were the days, yeah
I'll never forget them
I'll never forget them
The days we blacked out
Those were the days!
*END CHORUS*
What are you drinking tonight? Hell, I'm drinking Crazy Horse
I've got me some OE, some Saint Ides, and Bud of course
Hurry up and kill that shit, it's starting to get late
Hope there ain't a line outside cause I don't fuckin want to wait
We pile into a cab and head on down to the two-forty-duece
The driver pulls up in front of it and we all bust loose
Run inside before the driver gets out of his car
We just got our cab ride free, that means more cash for the bar!
*CHORUS*
Already got my buzz on now it doesn't take much more
Only ten more drinks and I'll be sure to hit the floor
Rapping to some girls and try not to start a fight
This is something that we'd do just about every night
Back in those days we sure did drink a lot of beer
7 nights a week our vision wasn't ever clear
There's plenty of good memories of the nights we all went out
At least the memories left from the times when I didn't black out
*CHORUS*
^ Back To Top ^
Madison Square Hardon
Going to the big arena show
tons of bands that i don't know
brush up against a girl in the pit
i think my elbow hit her tit
(chorus)
pardon, please pardon
my Madison Square Hardon
Pardon, Please Pardon
my Madison Square hardon
Is this another con concert by Vans?
good thing we got PBR cans
so close to that chick, i like her smells
she turns around, she's fuckin twelve!
(CHORUS)
Sometimes it has a mind of its own
If i could i would have left it at home
in this crowd i really feel the squeeze
but am i a pervert or is that chick a tease?
(CHORUS)
Get into the pit, i hope it makes me soft
if it doesn't i might break the damn thing off!
Right then I catch a wink from an interested hotty
Maybe she'll escort me to the private Port-A-Potty!
(CHORUS)
^ Back To Top ^
The Longest Pee
They had no toilets on the bus
He had to pee or he would bust
His first time arriving in New York City
Air was hot and the streets were shitty
He asked a bum where he could piss
The dirty old guy's reply was this:
I don't know no place like that sonny
But could you spare me anything
A ten or a twenty?
He tried to use the toilet in a restaurant
He was a customer they didn't want
Maison Meaufaux has a reputation
No paper plates or free urination
He saw a Port o San he had it made
Then the police put up a barricade
We can't let you leave till after the parade
Relax and have a Coke or a lemonade
He ducked in an alley to find relief
A gang of hoods said "You got BEEF??!!"
The beating didn't hurt it just made him madder
What could he do about his bursting bladder?
He went into a place that sold fast food.
He got an undercooked gyro and the people were rude.
They told him to piss in a helmet and wear it.
The bathroom is ours and we don't want to share it.
He went outside and found a wide neck bottle
Stood behind a dumpster and opened the throttle
Flashing lights, tear gas, FBI
Yer goin' down boy, yer gonna fry!
They locked him up with a redneck named Billy
Who was always trying to grab his willy
The man couldn't pee for 25 years
His only release was his frustrated tears.
Finally came his time to be FREE!
Fuck that, man I just wanna pee.
When they let him out of that filthy cage,
He hit them with a deluge of rage.
They tried to run, but could not hide.
Like a firehose, but ten miles wide.
Like Noah's flood with a tint of yellow,
When it finally dried New York was mellow.
There arose from the puddles a different crowd
Their life was simple. Their music was loud.
An entire city free from fear
They lived in harmony and brewed lots of BEER.
They peed in toilets and cups and bowls,
Cans, pots, bottles, old tires, and holes.
Noone ever thought to give them a ticket.
If you did you know where they'd stick it.
^ Back To Top ^
Seamus O'Malley
Seamus O'Malley came into town
Riding a bike with a beer in his hand
Seamus O'Malley was chased out of town
'Cuz he wouldn't be sharing his Guinness
(CHORUS)
Seamus O'Malley, Seamus O'Malley, Seamus O'Malley, oh, get the fuck out
If you came in with a six pack of Bass
Well then we just might have let you pass
And if you came in with a keg full of Harp
We'd let you stay 'til the stars get dark
(CHORUS)
Well you might think that we all live in sin
But we'll wake up tomorrow and do it again
'Cuz the only thing worse than a town full of drunks
Is a town full of drunks who are sober
(CHORUS)
^ Back To Top ^
Let's Get On Welfare
Hey babe I got the word today
I got fired so now we got it made
You can see it on my face
I told the man I�m out of the race
We can march up to the window
We can take what�s ours
We can hold our heads up high
Cause now we got a piece of the pie
Let's get on welfare
Leave this town without a care
We can visit all our friends upstate
And we can piss on the people we hate
We can eat like kings and queens
Say goodbye to rice and beans
We�ll have time and money to spend
We�ll have weekends that never end
Let�s get on welfare
Pick a number and pick a chair
Fill out the form and get in line
And pull the plug on the daily grind
We can dye our hair
We can try on news shoes
We can pierce our ears and our toes
And we can snort powder up our nose
Maybe we can buy a house
Pay our mortgage with foodstamps
We can smoke lotsa grass
And spend the day sitting on our ass!
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Can't Get Out
In the city its way too hot
I should be swimming but I�m not
The weekends coming in fact it�s here
I�m stuck at my job just like last year
Making plans for our next merger
By now I should be on my second burger
The boat has sailed I missed my ride
Tie me to the pier for high tide
A game of darts would be nice
Rum and coke with lots of ice
Maybe a bike ride to the beach
All these things are out of my reach
We can hope for better days
Maybe people will change their ways
We can pray for life to be fair
We can just sit here in despair
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War On Drugs
Nancy Reagan and Gary Coleman told us all to just say no
While Ronnie and Noriega Filled planes with guns and blow
I watched the war in Panama with a Phillie Blunt in hand
While the government upheld the law, The law of supply and demand
[CHORUS]
One thing about the War on Drugs I can say without a doubt
I watched the war on drugs and it really freaked me out
The bombs are twice as loud when you're tripping off your ass
You can almost smell the blood and the burning of the mustard gas
[/CHORUS]
After about fifteen hours Band of Brothers can wear thin
Jazz it up with a couple o' tabs and maybe a liter of gin
I was feeling a little bit wired last time I saw Platoon
I got a lot of battle scars but I never even left my room
[CHORUS]
My buddy came over one night with a brank new 3 foot bong
We watched Sylvester Stallone mow down the Viet Cong
He took a big old haul and he said "hey war is hell"
Then I ate a steak burrito the size of an artillery shell
[CHORUS]
We might not have homes or jobs but we got TV's and drugs
I train myself at night taking shots at waterbugs
When it comes to war heroes I am one of the best
Pass the pills and load the guns and pin a medal on my chest
[CHORUS]
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Donneybrook at Dicey's
Hangin at the bar
Ready for a war
Slammin back a few
Hangin with the crew
Somebody looks our way
Now they've got to pay
Been drinkin beers all night
Now it's time to fight!
[CHORUS]
When the beer does flow
I have some fists to throw
How'd it start? Don't know!
Whoa ohhhhh ohhhhhhhhh!
[/CHORUS]
Now I can't see so well
But still can raise some hell
Fists fly and bottles break
Much more than pride at stake
Not sure what had been said
But kick him in the head
Been drinkin beers all night
And now it's time to fight!
[CHORUS]
Three of them hit the floor
Two more run out the door
Those guys were not so tough
I guess they've had enough
We sit back on our stools
Score one for Beer Drinking Fools
Been drinkin beers all night
And we still won the fight!
[CHORUS]
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The Unfriendly Skies
The jerk's seat in front of me is in my fuckin lap
Can't even get comfortable enough to take a nap
Someone took a dump, now the whole plane smells like crap
Flying the unfriendly skies!
We're ready to take off now the engine starts to roar
They shut and seal and lock the pilot's cockpit door
The only beer they serve on here is Molson and Coors
Flying the unfriendly skies!
I have no fuckin leg room so my knees are in my chest
The morons all around me put my patience to the test
At least the blonde stewardess has a nice pair of breasts
Flying the unfriendly skies!
Security is tight to they took my pocket knife
The hassle and discomfort causes me a lot of strife
If the plane goes down this seatbelt sure won't save my life
Flying the unfriendly skies!
6 hours in the air now it's almost time to land
My legs are so cramped up I can hardly even stand
Can't wait to be back and drink beer and play with the band
Flying the unfriendly skies!
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F.U.
When I was in college I sure learned a lot
How to do a funnel and make jello shots
It's incredible all the stuff I learned
Like how quickly a doobie of hydrangea burns
Freshman year we had a keg in the shower
6 of us finished it in just under an hour
Late night dancing on the rugby field
Pour beer over my head, how good that feels!
[CHORUS]
I liked college, just not the classes
Most people there were a bunch of asses
Besides the classes, I kinda liked school
I thought the keg parties were pretty cool ("It's where I learned to be a Beer Drinking Fool")
[/CHORUS]
Then there was the time we fought the whole soccer team
15 on 5, it was quite a scene
Vodka in green slurpees and flying kites
Stealing people's meatloaf and taking trips all night
It's after 3 am, must be time for bed
Fuck that man, it's college, let's get drunk instead
All the stores are closed, we need a late beer run
Could only find a bodega, forties for everyone!
[CHORUS]
Shit the lights just flickered, must be an RA
Why do those pricks always take my fun away?
Okay they're gone now the coast is clear
I just hope nobody kicked over my beer
Got some cups and ping pong balls, time for Beirut
I just sank the last ball, that team gets the boot
I'm feeling kinda tired, hook me up with some snuff
I feel better now, I haven't drank enough!
[CHORUS]
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(I Hate Pearl Jam) Cover Bands
Going out to meet a girl tonight
To see her friend's band cause their outta sight
I was all ready to rock
But what I heard was quite a shock
Their sound and style was real bland
I hate pearl jam cover bands
I wanted to choke myself with both hands
I hate Pearl Jam cover bands
White-hatters and yuppies like you never seen before
No Stout beer, but coors galore
I stuck out like a sore thumb
Cause I could see this music was dumb
When I saw the poster I should have ran
I hate Pearl Jam cover bands
I spit my beer and threw the can
I hate Pearl Jam cover bands
I had some shots to make me feel better
This guy really thought he was Eddie Vedder
I requested Warpigs and got the evil eye
Then they played Evenflo, so I said goodbye
The evening wasn't how I'd planned
I hate Pearl Jam cover bands
I took the N back to 30th and Grand
I hate Pearl Jam cover bands
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Beer Drinking Fools