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Ask Swilley 
Advice and suggestions to BDF fans!
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Ask Swilley |
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Question: Dear Swilley, I've recently come to the realization that work sucks. I hate my job. But, it's more than just that. I feel as if I'd hate any job I ever have. And I'm expected to do this crap until I'm 65?!? I don't think I can make it that long. Please help me. - Worried About Work in Westchester Swilley: Dear Worried, First of all, let me just confirm your revelation - work does suck! It sucks the big one. However, there are ways to cope with the suckiness of work. Namely, booze and drugs. My advice to you is that when you're not at work, get as wrecked as possible, that way you'll forget all about work and enjoy a temporary state of bliss. Until the hangover. If this doesn't sound like a good solution to you, you could always quit your job and live on the streets. I've met some nice bums down in the subway tunnels. Not all of them are totally insane and drink Windex. Although they do all smell like piss. Question: Dear Swilley, I just started dating this girl, and she sure is nice, but she hates punk music and prefers Stoli Ice and hard lemonade to beer. Is it time for me to hang up my leather jacket and shelve my Docs in order to gain her approval? Thanks, Punk and Horny in Hoboken PS- her Dad is super-rich and she has a huge place to herself Swilley: Dear Horny, This is a tough one... Nah, fuck it, who am I fooling... Girls who hate punk music are usually not worth your time. Especially the ones who don't like beer! Don't hang up the leather and Docs for a chick! What's wrong with you man! Keep rockin' and rollin', and enjoy the ride while it lasts. In the meantime, raid her old man's liquor cabinet. If he's loaded, he probably has some good booze in there! Dear Swilley: Why doesn�t BDF take a more pro-active stance toward world events? The decrease of Beer consumption in Germany is hurting the small brewers. Seems the youngsters over there are turning to alco-pops and abandoning the traditional giant Bierstein. Will the old German Breweries go under as a result? What can I, as a consumer and concerned citizen do about this potential world tragedy? What is BDF willing to do?? Signed, Political Beer Drinker in Portchester Swilley: Dear Political, Politicks and beer don't mix. I love German beer sa much as the next guy, but I say leeve politisc to peeps like that bitch Hilart Clinton.... and if she doesn't like that she might not be the girl fro you. And another thing; that bitch down at the Hairy Monk better not try to cut me off again. She shaid i was to drunk to be servered anymore. If I wand a drink, I get a drink. I'm glad I peed on the bafroom floor now... Aynways, to help the beer economomy, drink more beer. We wil bee. Dear Swilley: There are some people out there who think your idea to have an advice column on the BDF website is stupid. Actually everyone in my department thinks your column sucks! We�d like to head up to your house and kick your ass, but we�re not allowed to leave work, really. Swamped in SoHo Swilley: Dear Swamped, If you can�t tear yourself away from your desk long enough to kick someone�s ass then you really need my advice more than you think! |
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